The Makeout Section at the Movies
Courtney was so excited about going skating at Jellybeans with Derek. His wavy blond hair, blue eyes and buff muscles were the perfect contrast to her tawny brown skin and petite body. Everybody said they made the cutest couple! Derek was quite possibly the hottest guy at school and Courtney couldn't help but tell the world how much she really liked him. As Friday drew closer, her heart pounded with anticipation. She practically counted down the hours until the big day.
Except there was this little problem. A nagging feeling going on inside her and that's how I met Courtney. After a presentation at a local middle school, Courtney pulled me aside and asked me what I thought about the other question Derek had asked her. He wanted to know if she wanted to sit in the "Makeout Section" at the movies on Saturday. Courtney didn't know what to do.
I sensed by her body language that she was confused. She repeated how much she really liked him. She appreciated his invitation to the skating rink but the follow-up question about the movies kind of scared her. It sounded like Derek had much bigger weekend plans than she anticipated.
She told me that the timing of our presentation couldn't have been better because it helped her think about his question. This beautiful young girl was trying to figure out the true motivations of this boy and had some mixed feelings about his intentions.
If Courtney were my daughter, I'd tell her I loved her, take her out for a smoothie and have a long talk about honor, dignity and true love. Here are a sampling of questions we'd discuss along the way. These might be useful for you if you ever find yourself in a similar situation:
For her:
- Did he invite you to the skating rink on Friday simply to justify his question about the Makeout Section on Saturday? Or did he feel pressured to ask you to the Makeout Section on Saturday when he's really not ready for all that stuff? What are his motivations?
- How comfortable would he feel asking your father/uncle/grandpa/big brother for permission to take you to the Makeout Section? What would their reaction be?
- Why would he ask you that question in the first place? Are there rumors going on about you? Is this a normal question he asks all the girls he likes? How familiar is he with the Makeout Section? Does he have a favorite spot, a preferred chair?! Zheesh!
- Let's say this is his favorite spot at the theatre, what would you do if he tried to pressure you to go there? How would you handle it if all your friends want you to go there and you don't? What if you're the only girl who doesn't want to go?
Courtney probably wondered what he liked about her in the first place. The nature of his inquiry calls into question some character issues. Courtney left our brief meeting needing to search for answers.
However, she's not the only one with things to ponder. If Derek were my son, I'd also tell him I loved him, then we'd grab a bag of Fritos and while taking a long walk we'd discuss important things like integrity, respect and real manhood. Questions for him:
- What are you expecting from this girl on Friday night? On Saturday night? How well do you know her? How often do you invite girls to sit with you at the Makeout Section? Is this a routine question you ask all your current or potential girlfriends?
- How would her parents feel if they ran into the two of you in the 'ole Makeout Section at the movies? Tell me how you'd handle if it someone told her parents that they saw you there making out all over the place.
- What will she think of you now that you've asked this question? She might think you're a real playa, a horny pervert or somewhere in between. What does that say about you as a young man? She might say yes but where will the two of you stop? What about the next time you're together?
The weekend is just around the corner and I'll probably never know the end of this story. Will Courtney decline Derek's offer at the movies? Could there possibly be a couple of empty seats at the Makeout Section because Derek stayed home and played Game Cube on Saturday instead? Let's hope so! You see the ultimate plot unfolding has nothing to do with what's playing at the theatre but what's going on in the hearts and minds of these two young people. They represent many others faced with a similar dilemma. It's those extra dim and private places within us that need attention and wise advice.
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